Monday, April 24, 2017

T - 5 Ts of Togetherness...


Love is not easy. It involves a lot of effort. Irrespective of whether love has been around for 2 months or 20 years, whether the object of your affection is your child, partner, parent or friend - the effort needs to be renewed every single day. If being together with your loved one for an entire lifetime is your idea of love, then read on to know the 5 Ts that form the frame for togetherness.  

Trust –

Easily, trust forms the basis of all relationships. When someone places their complete trust on you, it’s their way of telling you that they feel safe and happy with you and are confident of turning to you when in need and know that they will not be disappointed. Don’t break the trust they have placed in you. Honour your commitments. If you have promised them something, keep it up, no matter how difficult it is, or else, don’t promise. If they have entrusted you with their secrets, with their issues, with their ambitions, guard them in your heart.

Truth –

Truth and trust are like two sides of the same coin. People trust those who are truthful. The moment you start having secrets that you cannot share, when you have to lie, be dishonest or cheat, be sure that the truth though hidden for some time will soon come out and the trust will be broken.

Time –

Togetherness demands your time. Isn’t ‘time’ the best gift you can give to your one? Agreed, in today’s fast-paced world, everyone is busy, there’s so much to do, and there’s hardly any time. But like it is said, ‘It is not about having time, it’s about making time.’ So, make time to be there for people you love.

Talk and touch –

Communication is such an important part of being together – both physical and oral communication. Most misunderstandings happen because people don’t talk, they don’t express themselves properly. People assume and presume, accuse and scream, and do everything but talk! Most issues would be solved simply if people communicated. And don’t forget to look into their eyes when you talk.

Touch is an important way to show love. Hug, hold hands, kiss. Make your loved ones feel loved.  

Tenderness -

As time passes, we tend to take people in our lives for granted. We expect more, we are disappointed more, we fight more and we hurt more. We forget that human hearts are as fragile as glass. Hence treat the people you love, like you would handle glass – with tenderness. Speak softly, act responsibly, behave gentlemanly and love endlessly, so with the adult, as with a child.  

What would you like to add to the list?



Saturday, April 22, 2017

S- 5 reasons to say Sorry


Sorry. A five-lettered word, but how difficult it is to say it! As kids, we are taught that Sorry is one of the five golden words. While we have no qualms about saying the others, ‘sorry’ doesn’t come as easily. But of all the words, ‘Sorry’ has the most power to set things right. Don’t let the ego come in between. Say Sorry when it’s needed.

Here are 5 reasons why you should say Sorry.

Makes you feel lighter instantly.

When you genuinely apologise for some wrong doing, it lifts a heavy burden off your chest. Whether we accept it or not, our mind always knows when are wrong. And then we carry that burden all along, without realising how much it impacts our well-being.


Makes the other person forgive you.

I remember an incident where a friend had hurt me with such harsh words that stung for hours after they were spoken. It left a very bitter feeling about that person, and I vowed never to interact with her again. But within a couple of days, she called up and profusely apologised. I could see that she really meant it. It made me forget everything that was spoken and I willingly forgave her. I also realised how little it takes to set something right. One heartfelt ‘sorry’, was all that was needed.  


Makes other people see things from your point of view.

When you say sorry, it brings any argument or feeling of one-up-man-ship, crashing down. The invisible wall of hostility that gets built-up, breaks down and allows the other person to see and understand your point of view.  

Makes your little ones learn from it.

As our kids grow, they learn from everything we do. They mimic our actions, copy our behaviour and learn from our mistakes. When you apologise to someone, the little ones learn that committing a mistake is wrong but they can make it right by apologising. They learn to respect relationships and feelings more than their egos. Don’t you want to set the right example for your kids?


It’s for yourself.  

Saying sorry and meaning it, is more for our own sense of relief than for the person we have wronged. Irrespective of whether the other person forgives you or not, it will help you to be rid of guilt and help you to move on. Help yourself heal. Say Sorry.


Friday, April 21, 2017

R- 5 reasons why you must learn to Relax!


Our schedules are so tightly packed these days that we are constantly flitting from one activity to the other. Irrespective of whether you are a homemaker, are working outside, or are a student, there’s hardly a minute to spare for yourself! In the process, you end up fatigued, worried and irritated all the time. Only if you’d slow down a bit a take some time out to relax, you’d see that you can complete all your tasks without keeling over from trying too hard.

Here are 5 reasons why you must learn to relax.


Panicking and worrying is not going to make things right.

Sure, there’s a whole of things that keeps us on our tentacles – work that is pending, work that has deadlines, work that expects us to be in many places at the same time, work that is not going as per plan, or work that drives you crazy because the other people involved in it aren’t as dedicated as you are! But panicking or worrying isn’t going to get you anywhere. Things will happen when they have to happen.  


A relaxed mind can take more rational decisions.

You will agree that we hardly take our best decisions when we panic or worry. We tend to shout, argue, fight, feel discouraged, or angry when the mind isn’t relaxed. But if you take some time out to relax, you’ll see that your mind can react to situations and adversities much better. You will be able to take better decisions.


Relaxing increases productivity.

A relaxed mind is more creative and productive. When you give yourself a time out and spend time doing deep breathing exercises, meditating, smelling the flowers, simply lying down, or taking a nap, the areas in the brain responsible for creative thinking are activated. People brainstorm better, are able to memorize better, concentrate better, study better, and handle work stress better after a power nap. So, next time you find yourself in a jam, just reach for the pillow!


A relaxed person has a calming influence on their surroundings.

A relaxed mind is contagious. People around you tend to calm down if you are relaxed. An agitated person tends to increase the tension in their surrounding but a relaxed person dissipates the existing tension.


Relaxing helps keep illness at bay.

Relaxing helps to calm the body and mind. It prevents stress and depression. It also prevents high blood pressure, migraines and such illness which are all a manifestation of panicking and worrying. What is the use of spoiling the health and regretting later?  



Take time out from your busy schedules and relax. The body needs to rejuvenate and recoup. Don’t deny it it’s due.  





Thursday, April 20, 2017

Q - 5 irritating Questions that people ask and how to tackle them!


Our lives are never private. There are people all around us trying to poke their noses into everything we do or don’t. They are so interested to know every little thing that goes on in our lives that it becomes a pain answering them.  

Are you free? they will ask. Your time is never your own. You will be expected to run errands, complete their child’s project, or whatever. But if you refuse to help, saying you have your own work to complete, they have the next question ready.

How much do you earn? they will want to know. Hah! They really expect you to tell them the figures? Don’t answer it, but if you did, well, God save you. If they think you are earning well, they will pop the next question.

Why are you single? What a waste of your life, if you aren’t yet married by the ‘correct’ age that society has set for you. Perhaps they will give you a cursory look and try to reason why marriage has evaded you.  

Why don’t you do something about your colour/ size? Poor souls. Don’t they know that one can do absolutely nothing about the colour of your skin, height and err…weight?  But when you eventually get married, you know what they will ask next...

When will you have a child? As if having a child is the sole reason why people get married!

After having given you the headache of a marriage and a child and seeing you run around like a headless chicken, will they get off your back? No! They will come back to question #1.  

Are you free?



So, here are 5 ways to tackle these irritating questions.

Use humour.

Find a funny way to reply back to irritating questions. If someone’s pestering you with the why aren’t you married question, roll your eyes and say, ‘Oh my, are you jealous?’, or wink and say, ‘Amn’t I lucky?’, or better, ‘Because I love bread pakoda more’!

Ask another question.

It always irritates people when you answer a question with another question. If someone’s asks, how much do you earn, say, ‘Why is that important to you?’, or ask them the same question, ‘How much do you earn?’ or even tongue-in-cheek, ‘Why, aren’t you paid enough?’

Be vague.

Giving vague answers which give out nothing about what they want to know is a clever way of getting them off your back. If someone asks, ‘What price did you sell your house for?’  say, ‘Even a million bucks would not be enough payment for this lovely home,’ or ‘Money is just a number, can it buy happiness?’

Give them an irrelevant and lengthy explanation.

If people have come looking for spice, give it to them. Take them round and round in circles, giving them all sorts of irrelevant information and take up so much of their time that they will think twice before asking personal questions again.

Refuse to answer.

Just refuse to answer. People aren’t expecting you to refuse to answer them. Knock them over with a refusal, ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t want to answer that.’ Simple.

What's your trick? 


Wednesday, April 19, 2017

P - 5 kinds of People we should be grateful for!


Life would be so lonely and burdensome if there were no one to share our pain and happiness. But thankfully, every time we are broken, there's that someone who glues us back. Do we know who these people are? Or do we just subconsciously go them in our time of need and forget them conveniently?  

Here are 5 kinds of people who form our backbone...don't forget to be thankful to them.

People who make you smile.

I'm sure there's at least one such gem in your life. Even if your chips are down and out, and you are struggling for breath, they know exactly how to make you smile and laugh. Just seeing them lifts your spirits. They may not always dole out the best of advice but from them, you will learn that life is too short to be taken so seriously!  These are ones that make life worthwhile!


People who motivate.

These are the people who always have your back. They will egg you on to do what you want to do, assure you that your dreams deserve to be realised and support you when you feel low. With them you’ll be always full of energy. You can dare to share your weirdest and most impossible looking aspirations and they’ll tell you that you can achieve it too! And no, they will never judge you no matter what you do.


People who are honest.

Everyone loves honesty as a quality, and yet, we don’t like people who are truthful. Quite a paradox? Yes, because truth is bitter. We label people who are honest as unthoughtful, rude, and harsh, but they have your best intentions at heart. They tell you things without mincing words. They are way better than those who sugar coat their words but aren’t really bothered about you. Keep the honest ones close.


People who love you and help you unconditionally.


To receive unconditional love is such a blessing. Yet, we take these people who shower us with unconditional love for granted. Are there people who have been there for you and have always helped you in your times of need? Never forget to show gratitude to these people. No, they will never stop loving you even if you don’t reciprocate, but won’t they be thrilled if you do? 


People who listen.

We all need our 3 am friend. The person who will be there to listen to our woes, to give us their shoulder to cry on, to hug us when we need it the most, no matter whether it is day or night. These are the people you can depend upon the most. There’s nothing that can comfort us more than a person who can you can give us a patient hearing, is there? Well, don’t forget to return the favour when they need you.


Who are these people in your life? Know who they are and keep them close. Perhaps, there’s just one such person in your life, but they might be a combination of two or more qualities or maybe even all 5. I hope you revere them for the sunshine they bring into your lives.


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